Happy New Year! And Happy New Day. What are you expecting on this new, fresh, never-been-lived day? How do you want your life to be different? Will your New Year or New Day bring growth and change, or will you live in the same old patterns as last year? When would be a good time for you to make some positive life changes? Are you ready for a new start? I am!
I’m writing this at the start of the New Year. It is a time of hope and expectancy for a new birth. Change is in the air. Many people often use the occasion as a symbolic fresh start to make positive changes in their lives, called New Year’s resolutions. But you can make a choice for a new life and a new year in April or September or any month on any day too!
Resolutions
Did you make a New Year’s resolution choice this year? How many of your New Year’s resolutions make it to the end of the year? How many victories have you had from your New Year’s resolutions?
A resolution or goal doesn’t have to start on January 1st. It could start any day or month of the New Year. But consider this: when would be a good time to change your life?
How about NOW? Today! NOT TOMORROW–TODAY!!
Look at the date, write it down, and start new today. This date is now your landmark, your occasion to improve your life. If your life is good, then make it better.
If you think, “My life is better.” Then make it the best.
I choose my New Year’s resolution to connect to how I want to leave this world one day.
Sounds unusual? Well, here’s why.
Life-Changing Event
An important event happened in my life in May of 2020. My beautiful 40-year-old daughter died. In the hospital. Alone. She had a blood clot that went to her heart. This was shocking! We were stunned. She was supposed to come home the next day. When I received the call, it took me to my knees. My daughter, my best friend, and my sister in Christ.
She died alone. Nobody should die alone.
As I grieved for my daughter with joy in this journey, I changed. Her sudden departure to go home to the Lord changed me and my perspective on death. I began to ask myself these questions.
- “How do I want to leave this world”?
- “Who do I want to be in death”?
I reflected on how she lived and how she died.
She lived with hope and determination to live life to the fullest beyond the limitations of her health. My daughter lived well.
And she died well.
On one of my FaceTime calls with my daughter while she was in the hospital, she delighted me with how her focus went directly to what God could do in this hardship. She began to share, “Mom, I couldn’t have the opportunity to share or connect with the people in the hospital if you or my husband were here.”
She told us how the nurses would sit with her and talk about the hope of our Lord. One nurse braided her hair, sat, and held her hand.
My daughter spent so much time in hospitals and doctor’s offices in her 20’s and 30’s. She was pricked, poked, and prodded with blood draws and injections for so many tests. It would sometimes be intrusive and disruptive to her many stays, which were needed for monitoring and assessments. Yet, where it could have brought impatience and irritability, it was NOT so with my daughter. She was patient, kind, and loving the entire time she was in this long, enduring season of constant medical intervention. What an example of living well!
I was able to witness her living well in action. As did others. She was a godly woman. She lived well. And she did something even more amazing; she died well.
As I continue to look for the beauty in the ashes of my daughter’s death, this brings more reflection. Reflection brings a deeper perspective of this journey of life.
And if you wish to join me in an effort for no one to die alone, please check out the Never Alone Project.
Dying Well
Have you thought about dying well?
Those days in the hospital of her looking upward above her circumstances gave my grief comfort. The beauty from her ashes gave me a life resolution to die well. She is my inspiration.
In the meantime, I live life to the fullest, as if today is my last.
I pray you never deal with a situation this tragic, or a loss more tragic than mine. My heart’s message is that there is freedom and hope on the other side. The Lord has a way to make beauty out of your ashes. When would be the –right time to start having that good life, or a better life, or even the best–the abundant life?
How about NOW?
How about TODAY?
So, how do we do that?
Start Today With This Activity
Take a piece of paper and draw two vertical lines evenly spaced down. Label the right column “Working” and the middle column “Not Working.” The third column is labeled “Action Steps.” If you use a computer for journaling, simply type the three headings and leave room under each.
Now brainstorm items as you look back on the year: What worked and what didn’t work?
Write down the first thing that comes to mind. It doesn’t matter how petty or silly it is. Just pour it out. See if you can come up with 10 items under both the “Working” column and the “Not Working” column without stopping. Don’t even pause to reread what you’ve written.
Next Steps For Change
Start with one item on your list.
For example, let’s say it involves a particular relationship. Spend some time with the item you have chosen by using the checklist below:
- Create a clear vision and mission of the changes you want to move into.
- Define Specific; Measurable; Able; Realistic; Time-bound (Smart) goals that align with your vision and mission.
- Communicate your plan. Clearly communicating the plan with another who can support and encourage you brings motivation to take the action that is needed.
- Now implement the plan. Take the steps to execute.
Some strategic action steps for that chosen item could be:
- Reading a WOW Living blog on communication,
- Attending a WOW Living Communication Workshop, or
- Brainstorming with one of our WOW Living Coaches.
Once you have strategies in place. Begin! One step at a time. As you make improvements, accomplish change, and move forward, you experience motivation from your victories–large or small.
Take each item one at a time. This will help you avoid getting overwhelmed by your list, which is intended to help you refocus. Be careful of doing more than two at a time. Too much change in many areas at once makes it harder to create muscle memory for longevity.
This activity moves you down a path out of the forest of trees. So you can feel the solid ground beneath you and the wide open sky above. The potential for newness. Creating growth and movement to the best you!
We understand that there are times of feeling stuck or overwhelmed with areas in your life. There might be more than the mind could handle.
Options For Positive Change:
- Check out our Stress Relief Blog
- Take a break. Be purposeful about self care and then come back to it.
- Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, spouse to work through it with you
- Most don’t judge yourself. Instead reach out for support.
We have experienced coaches here to journey and guide. You wouldn’t attempt to summit a mountain alone, please don’t journey on by yourself.
Our coaches are experienced in life coaching, trauma coaching, leadership coaching, We even have a Doctor of Holistic Medicine to coach you through your health concerns, an Educational Therapist to coach through the struggles of ADHD, as well as a Massage Therapist that is certified in MYOKINesthetic therapy, a muscle movement technique created to relieve pain by correcting and balancing the nervous system.
Often, after I’ve made the lists, I already feel better. This relief frees up some energy and mental space and creates momentum to take the steps down the path and out of the forest.
- Once you have moved forward in one of your life directions, even in the smallest way, stop, breathe, and reflect on the emotion.
- Ask yourself this question: “What new life message have I just embraced?”
- Celebrate! Celebration builds joy and zeal for life.
- Begin again. Choose another item on your list that isn’t working. Choose an action step while you continue the improvement of the first successful change.
- Transfer the non-working item to the “working” side of the sheet.
Don’t forget the “working” side of the sheet too! It can be tempting to focus on only those areas of our life that need to change, but let’s celebrate and be grateful for the victories too. This activity changes our perspective. Perspective brings hope. Always focusing on the negative brings on stress and anxiety that interferes with joy in the journey.
Don’t Forget This
Celebrate! Celebrate!
Why?
It changes your attitude. It changes the heart position and your motivation from small steps to larger movements in the right direction on the path of moving forward from those “not working” areas in our lives.
Remember my ill daughter, finding joy and hope in a hospital room? Let that inspire us to shift our perspective to hope. And to use everyday that we are given to choose steps that help us grow our “working” list and shrink our “not working” list. Regardless of how long or unbalanced you feel your lists are, you are loved. God made you uniquely and has a plan for your life. And you can make a change!
Let’s build joy together and journey towards a life that celebrates what is working and begin taking strategic steps forward on the not working. So we can live the joy of more celebration.
